Before Breath Returns

Application summary

The project is a series of three sound art performances, paired with three reflective essays released between them, concluding in a music album. Its theme is panic as a sustained phenomenon in today’s unsettled world. The work examines how panic is felt and remembered physically, culturally, and socially. The seed for this project was planted in the emotional aftermath of the 12-day war my home country, Iran, endured, after a prolonged period of domestic unrest. In times of constant global change, panic takes hold when fear lacks a solid foundation, and the threat feels ever-present and inescapable. It grows when change cannot be resisted or accepted, leading to inaction, frantic movement, or denial of what feels unbearable. Sound is the central medium for embodying panic in the performances. Panic turns the body into an instrument of alarm. My body will be wired with contact microphones, particularly on the neck, to capture heartbeat, breath, blood flow, and throat vibrations, making audible the subtle mechanics of panic that remain invisible, turning them into performance material that lets the audience hear the often-invisible signs of panic. The saxophone extends my body, channeling its internal states and producing trembling, whispering, and screaming textures that project tension outward. Certain sounds act as repositories of collective memory: alarm bells, sirens, explosions, and staccato rhythms of warning. These sounds resonate in the body and across shared histories, recalling fear, vigilance, and tension. This project challenges the silence surrounding panic, exposing its many facets to be experienced collectively. It questions how panic affects individual and collective minds and how its manifestations differ across cultures and histories. Through performances, essays and the album, the work invites the audience to confront panic, deepening our understanding of its influence and exploring how shared recognition can break its cycle, leading to healing.